Growth of RPS's Spirit Weapon

Year 22

Levels:
Strength: Level 16.1
Intelligence: Level 16.2
Dexterity: Level 14.4
Will: Level 14.0
Luck: Level 9.3
Social: Level 17.5

Intake:
N/A

Lessons Learned:
"Trial and Error"

Year 22

Entry 1

Found Katsu when in Fiodh. Said was wandering while I wanted judgement. Promised to accept like me, but afraid couldn't keep promise. Was glad seeing again. Hugged, kissed, was glad Katsu safe. Told about what judges said. Katsu worried about Liiam saying to kill Fenrir. Knows about army and that Fenrir stronger - killed self before too. Worried will do again. I worry too. Was told by other judge to do what feels right. Don't like killing. Never feels right. Understand what I did, what Fenrir does, understand bad, but don't know if can kill when if have to. Don't know how to kill part of self. Only know how to not be self.

Entry 2

Moved from Tailteann to Abb Neagh. Thought maybe could try "living like human". Was told home in Tailteann was bad - needed furniture - needed more than blankets for making bed - told was empty and cold - maybe not comfortable for Katsu. Feel better when seeing Katsu. Maybe what happiness feels like. Want Katsu to be comfortable too, so moved. Also made invitashun inveet mail to others to visit. Understand Katsu doesn't talk much to others. Think lonely - humans shouldn't be lonely. Maybe could find more friends.

Also need to remember Onikari's lesson for Trial and Error.

Entry 3

Still much to do and learn. Need to learn more about Lia Fail, so have to go back to Tir Na Nog soon. Maybe try fixing entrance to Barri. Will be hard going back and forth from Tir Na Nog other way. Hard to search and keep secret too. Can't do research alone there - too dangerous. Don't want others knowing why researching too. Secret and maybe still don't know. Is "option".

Year 22

Entry 4

Thankful for help had in Baol. Saw many fomors never seen before - very, very big fomors. Could maybe eat me in one bite. King and Strawberry good fighters, but think Strawberry should have left daughter at home. Dungeons bad place for babies. King was very good bodyguard. Didn't think so, but I couldn't find information for Lia Fail without King. Strawberry too.

But information wasn't good. Learned Lia Fail broke long time ago. Will try finding way to fix or make different one later, but Baol still very dangerous place. Will have to train more before trying again. Be more prepared too. Maybe can learn other ways to be human elsewhere.

Did learn something else though. Things want to make. Something special for loved one too. And more things want to learn. But something else needing to be done first.

Entry 5

Wrote to Mariella. Thought about why wasn't seeing anymore. Was told forgiven, but still couldn't see - couldn't forgive self - need to try and asked to talk - important. Mariella knows much about me since born as Temo - knows more than I do about Temo. Think is what family is like, so called Mariella sister. Didn't mind. Never found family, so don't know if have parents or brother or sister anywhere that are 'blood'. But think Mariella good sister.

Also knows about how to have happiness with others - until complete again, want to learn how to make Katsu happy as Temo. Try, but think Katsu hurts more whenever seeing again. Thought maybe being human would fix. Hurt many with way I am now, even when trying not to. Feel like humans, but way I feel is different - I think different - understand different. Want to find way to change more. Until can become human though, if can become human, want to find way to stop hurting Katsu with way I am. Important - Katsu is very important. Hard to say how. Can never talk or do things right way when around. Why asked Mariella - knows Temo most, maybe knows what can do.

---

Talk with Mariella was good. Learned much, but think upset or said something bad. Yelled some - blushed some. Will need to say sorry soon? Had daughters - liked. Cute. Glad Mariella could have family. Know did right now too - no more regret - could forgive self. Had to stop talking early though. Owls from Tara found again, chased with letters. Getting many jobs for going to Shadow Realm since moved from Tailteann. Think looking for mercenaries. Would help, but busy learning. Don't want to keep fighting too. Don't like hurting others, even when to protect. Want to find ways to do without if can.

Wonder why still learning to fight then? Don't Can't stop learning - important. Want to be able to protect, very much want to protect what is important. Like Katsu. Katsu very important. Has been all the time. Think searching for Lia Fail and talking to Mariella helped understand what to do, but also should keep learning things like have been. Will be important for protecting happiness better later maybe.

Also need to find way to protect when not near though. Katsu and others needing protection can't always be near. Need to fix.

Year 23

Levels:
Strength: Level 18.5
Intelligence: Level 17.6
Dexterity: Level 15.4
Will: Level 15.0
Luck: Level 11.3
Social: Level 19.0

Intake:
2 Broadswords - Like
2 Bastard Swords - Like
Diamond - Indifferent

Lessons Learned:
"Don't Eat Talking Dark Armor"

Year 24

Levels:
Strength: Level 18.5
Intelligence: Level 17.6
Dexterity: Level 15.4
Will: Level 15.0
Luck: Level 11.3
Social: Level 21.0 (Very nice conversations! :3)

Intake:

Lessons Learned:
"Concentration"
Carpentry
Ways to Propose

Years 23-24

Entry 1 (Year 23)

Looking for Lia Fail again, but found something else. Armor. Black armor that looks like one Dark Knights use. Talked. Wanted me to eat. Said needed to eat more if wanted to be complete. Almost did, but worried. Food never talks. Maybe bad food. Tried to study, learned more about Dark Knights. Remembered children taken long time ago. All Dark Knights now. Chose to be.

Chose not to eat. Gave to somebody that knew what to do with. Said used to be Fomor mage. Couldn't eat. If became Dark Knight, maybe not understand truths anymore. Talking armor said strange things that didn't sound like truth. Close to, but different. Didn't talk to others about. Just writing here. Only mage knows.

---

Entry 2 (Year 23)

Hard job. Still trying to find way to protect Katsu without protecting. Not doing good - still hard to find way. Harder to tell Katsu right way. Want to tell much, but never say right. Thought maybe writing would help, but words hard to write right too. Still try making notes.

-Want to prote help? want Katsu to stay safe. Not die. Katsu will hate if protected. Not right word for want to do.
-Support better word.
-All done recent days done to try supporting Katsu. Taking responsibility too.
-Not Fenrir, but still responsible for. Need to fix.
-Need to be complete.
-Learn to focus. Can talk better, but still hard to say things right. Hurts.
-Told marriage is showing love to others. Thought only reason wanted to marry. Not true.
-Katsu person without home and support. Lost all to save me. Two times.
-Want to save too. Want to be home for. Good support.

Still don't know if right words, but feel close. Not only reasons. Love Katsu for much. Exist because of.

Will keep trying. Maybe can talk to others for help with.

---

Entry 3 (Year 23)

Auramune Kitsoo Kitzu Aura said look for Stone enchantment. Going to look for Courageous too. Or Giant. Think maybe work. Also taught how to propose.

Talked to Dalvar about asking to marry too. Told about how was hard to say. Kept trying to say too much. Dalvar said Katsu loves and understands, just ask. Will try again.

Will try what Sister said too (-need to visit Sister and Brother). Think good - need to show can be good home - just talking not helping - can't support with just talking. Should write other reasons why love Katsu too sometime maybe. Can't say right, maybe if written right, could show.

---

Entry 1 (Year 24)

Found something better than enchantment. Think would be better - different from when Serth used with Katsu, and not enchantment to stop Katsy's freedom. Even freedom of feeling pain or hurting. Charm like given to Kana and Mariella, but made differnt. Will work stronger. Better. Will give to Katsu to use only when support is needed. So can still be free and have me to help keep free.

Will give at wedding. If can be wedding. Still didn't ask right yet.

---

Entry 2 (Year 24)

Given letter about study in Qilla. Have been searching for truth about gods and goddesses of Erinn. Want to learn of what Fenrir believes is truth. If way of killing is only way. If right at all. Have been told both right and wrong, but can't be both. Not good for this to be both. Letter talked about animals acting strange in desert. Was asked to go look. Didn't find anything, but heard strange sounds at night. Like growling under sand. Didn't sound like sandworm. Reported and more parties sent out later. Said location was where abandoned camp was long time ago. Maybe something from past affecting sand. Was told would be called again if something else maybe related to study.

---

Entry 3 (Year 24)

Think said wrong again, but Katsu understood. Told wanted to be husband - house - support. Said to marry. Would prove. Tried saying much more, but still didn't talk right. Grateful Katsu understood. Had wedding in Tir Chonail - "Where it all began." Katsu said. Remembered when first met. Little in first life. Katsu was fight school student. Self went to for help. Good friends after. Katsu wanted to be hero - always was self's since meeting. Want to be one too for person that taught me so much in both lives.

Katsu doesn't like dresses, but still was pretty seeing in one. Good memory. Also had good reminding of-- (heavily scribbled out) --secret. Can't write about still. Maybe will try sometime now that remember though.

Met people haven't seen in long time at wedding - Brother, Sister, Vayne, Krystal, Remmiel, Soifa, Taylene, and many guild people haven't seen in long time or haven't met yet. Glad to see all. Wanted to stay longer to talk, but words came out wrong again. Was...feeling strange. Good strange. Made want to go do job, so went with Katsu together. Think called honeymoon.

Was told something strange when coming back to Tir Chonail church again. Need to talk to Sister. Think Brother wrote about on bulletin board once, so will check when have time.

---

Entry 4 (Year 24)

Was given another letter to go back to Qilla. Disturbance from sand came again. Undead coming from desert at night. Attacking people. Was meeting Katsu to talk to about gift and more of honeymoon since couldn't do at wedding. Took with. Think Katsu liked fighting zombies. Eyes were...shiny. Fought all night. Reported what found and went to Karu Forest. Told Katsu everything there. Thought would be comfortable. Katsu likes Karu Forest. Gave charm - made happy - and talked about finding truth. Asked if Katsu would help - support from wife and hero is good support and could maybe help teach too.

Went to Karu Dungeon. Found nothing about goddess, but saw something that didn't see before. Never looked good at walls and carvings in walls. Katsu said ancient race maybe made. Not from giants or elves. But maybe giants or elves know. Going to go to Vales next. Search Par Dungeon and talk to giants.

Things to learn truth about:
- Fenrir: Good or bad to kill gods? Katsu right? Can't kill even when trying?
- Milletians: Goddess, Nao, not ones to bring them to Erinn? Came from own want?
- Does belief make truth different?

Year 24

Levels:
Strength: Level 18.6
Intelligence: Level 17.6
Dexterity: Level 15.4
Will: Level 15.0
Luck: Level 11.3
Social: Level 21.4

Intake:

Lessons Learned:
Power of Belief

Year 25

Levels:
Strength: Level 18.9
Intelligence: Level 17.9
Dexterity: Level 16.1
Will: Level 15.9
Luck: Level 11.7
Social: Level 21.9

Intake:
Diamond - Indifferent

Lessons Learned:
Profanity

Diamond... in...indifferent?!?!

Hey, he likes his junk food. Diamonds are too healthy.

Temo: Unknown ores like candy. TxT

Years 25

Entry 1

Katsu mad. Thought different shard fell in Rano. Went to look. Told would be back soon. Rock that fell wasn't shard. Just strange man surrounded by other strange people. And animals acting strange. Think was eweca. Made feel strange too. Took some pieces of rock to study later.

Didn't come back soon - when came back, Katsu gone. Went to look in Physis. Went through Solea. Found Brother and Sister's house, so stopped to visit. Had to talk about much. Told Sister about statue found in Karu Forest when search for goddesses - Brother said was searching for Ir-a-nid. Will remember name. Sister went to look, then Brother went to Uldah. Said had to find food. Said war starting to be bad, needed to grow things before too late. Couldn't leave house. Had to watch daughters. Said was training for self's daughters? Only have Glass and grandchildren. Take care of good. Don't need training, but watched still. Couldn't leave children alone.

Don't think Aldora likes, but try to be friend still. Aldora says self is stupid and talks bad. Truth. Not complete yet. Still hard to remember to talk good, hurts when trying. Not want to hurt self when family doesn't want. Couldn't leave when Sister came back. Was broken. Didn't tell why. Took care of with daughters until Brother returned. Went to Physis after.

Didn't find Katsu in Physis. Looked everywhere to make sure not lost and broken again like last time. Went to look in Qilla again. Worker said remember seeing leave on boat days ago, so went to Uldah to look. Didn't sink from sea monster. Thankful. Not heard of many attacks lately, but still some. Found Katsu in Rabbie. Still mad. Tried talking to, said sorry. Katsu said don't care. Keep leaving anyway.

Still looked hurt. Made new promise. Said wouldn't do again. Katsu doesn't believe as truth - still have to prove and will prove. Asked Katsu if would come to Tara with too. Want to keep promise, but have much to do too. Need wife-hero to help. Will stay with and do responsibility. Need to help with fighting for Tara. Need to see man with smile. Need to stop knowing fear. And need to be complete again. Temo is Temo, and will not lose more of Temo, but need to get rest of Temo back.

Years 25

Entry 2

It hurts.

Didn't think it would hurt so much. Don't have to focus anymore - just hurts. Captains won't let me train recruits anymore. Won't let me do anymore work either. Not until seeing doctor. Know what a doctor would say or do though. It happened a long time ago when seeing Manus. People don't know about me being...different. If told, might think of me being undead, or Fomor. Humans always think of things different being Fomor...

Never taken a break before. It's a little hard - harder because of the pain. Noticed writing is better - so is talking. Wonder why though. Only happens when focusing and trying to remember, but not doing either now. Don't know what to make of it.

Really don't want to take a break. Scouts said Requiem is getting closer. There's still much to do. People are ready, but can't some feeling...uneasy. He's close. Getting closer. Don't know what he's planning anymore, but worry that they might not learn in time. Fenrir is coming. The "man with the smile" that used to be in my nightmares. The one who might hold part of me. Ever since coming to Tara, felt...

...think going to go read a book. Haven't read anything in a long time. Might help take mind off the pain.

Year 26

Levels:
Strength: Level 20.2
Intelligence: Level 19.9
Dexterity: Level 16.1
Will: Level 19.8
Luck: Level 12.7
Social: Level 23.0

Intake:
Grape Jam - Liked ( Poor Lai-Lai...Temo shall be making all jams in honor of you. ;.; )

Lessons Learned:
Memories of a Heartbeat
Memories Blood
Breathing
Lullaby of the Flyaway Princess
Concept of Hope
"Breath, Eat, Rest"

Years 26

Entry 1

War is over, but there is still much to do. Towns need to be rebuilt. Found Reikika - Laikika's daughter - Katsu's granddaughter, so mine too. Need to find a way to take care of her. Kari said could help - always welcome. Miiria would like sister too. Will remember. Asked both about teachers - no one they knew, so will keep looking in towns while on duty. Could teach Rei-Rei by self, but don't know enough yet too. Would be a bad teacher. Don't know if Katsu would do well with teaching either. Maybe self-defense or Remembered things told. No good.

Met stranger named Whitefang Nightmare. Looks like giant, but says she's not. Miiria doesn't like. Looks like giant, and stranger, so doesn't trust. Strange person - kept getting close and watching me work. No touching, just watching. Worried might have hit her with the axe when cutting lumber. Glad didn't - would be in a lot of trouble.

...just read my writing again. Looks better, but still isn't good like remembered. Wonder why. Maybe can ask whoever is calling me later. Might have the answer, but need to find them first.

Year 27

Levels:
Strength: Level 20.2
Intelligence: Level 19.9
Dexterity: Level 16.1
Will: Level 19.8
Luck: Level 12.7
Social: Level 23.3

Intake:
N/A

Lessons Learned:
Considerations for Parenting

Year 28

Levels:
Strength: Level 20.6
Intelligence: Level 20.0
Dexterity: Level 16.1
Will: Level 20.0
Luck: Level 13.0
Social: Level 24.1
Intake:
N/A

Lessons Learned:
Lessons in Massage II
Heart of Sword

Year 28

Entry 1

Noticing something strange. Laikika to me needed to take care and not get sick. Way work would make me sick a lot with rest. Often feel fine though. Feel...normal. Maybe normal is wrong word, but don't feel like do now. Right now, feel weaker. Been coughing much and need to sit often. Don't have to work with repairs anymore, but makes traveling hard. Think am sick. Noticing now because think maybe Katsu might be the reason.

Never been sick when near Katsu. Sore sometimes, but feel better after resting near. Do the same away from right now since work and exploring has us apart for now; but different now because of that. Not the first time it happened, but think it is certain now. Will ask about next time see her.

Trying to buy a house again. Not just for Katsu this time, but me. Did a lot of thinking and decided to not be afraid anymore. Want to try living like human - need to after all that has happened. Need to see the world through people's eyes so that don't repeat history. Need to live among people more to understand things. Want to do the same with Fomors too, but it will be harder - will try, but it will take more time. Also want to do it for family. Katsu doesn't think a house is good because of travel, but disagree now. Important to have a place to call safe. Have been Katsu's home, but not a practical one. Can be both supporting and practical with a place that is safe, so buying a house.

Reikika needs a home too. Not safe to be traveling so much at her age. Should be in school, with good shelter, good clothes, good food - should be taken care of. Can't do that while traveling. She would grow like me, and that is very bad.

Need to do more research too - for thoughts about being human. Last time went searching for Lia Faill, didn't go good. Did some thinking and think should go to Baol again. There are also leads in Shadow Realm to look into, and Iria. Think stopped looking because was afraid of changing. Can't be anymore. Not until finished.

Year 28

Levels:
Strength: Level 22.1
Intelligence: Level 20.0
Dexterity: Level 18.2
Will: Level 20.5
Luck: Level 14.1
Social: Level 24.9

Intake:
Spicy Fish Stew - Liked
Katsu's Sleeveless and Bell-Bottoms Outfit - Liked~
Tea - Liked

Lessons Learned:
Proper Bathing II

Year 29

Levels:
Strength: Level 22.8
Intelligence: Level 21.1
Dexterity: Level 18.2
Will: Level 20.5
Luck: Level 14.1
Social: Level 25.6 (And Katsu gets a title she's gonna despise. )

Intake:
N/A

Lessons Learned:
N/A

Year 31

[[Missed one. Oops.]]

Levels:
Strength: Level 23.1
Intelligence: Level 21.1
Dexterity: Level 18.2
Will: Level 20.5
Luck: Level 14.1
Social: Level 25.9

Intake:
Roughly 1,500 gold - Indifferent
Tailoring Kit - Indifferent
Various Sewing Patterns - Indifferent
[[What else was there, Soifa? XD]]

Lessons Learned:
"Kana's" Past & Basic Concepts of Balance

((There was a few sewing patterns in there too

Year 31

Entry 1
Reading back over other entries, I am...amazed. Amazed that it took me thirty-one years for my writing to improve. Wording anyway. Still looks like what teacher called "hen scratch". Also amazed at how I thought. Much of it, I know is true. Understand it, and believe it. But learning it all, or learning it all again...

(The next few lines are scribbled out, followed by a resigning...) I cannot describe it. Wonder what Katsu would think of reading it now. Have not shown her my journal in a long time. Might want to read it later?

Speaking of Katsu, worried about her. (Sidenote - might need to hide this part until there is a good time. If there is a good time.) I finally was able to spar with her. Something I have wanted to do for a long time. Maybe two lifetimes even. Katsu has always been a hero to me. Someone I wish to learn everything and anything about too. It is why I wanted to spar with her. I was raised as a weapon/tool early in life. A person, but still as a weapon or tool. Fighting is an important part of how I learn, so thought it would help. But she did not feel the same. She hates sparring with me. Says she has to hold back because she is afraid to kill me, or that I hold back when trying my hardest (think maybe I am just weaker than she thought. Or maybe she is stronger than the thinks.) Think it strange, since we fight with wooden swords and in armor but...

When talking to Katsu afterward, she said she did not want to hurt me, or risk hurting me, and thinks that it is pointless to spar instead of killing true enemies. I still disagree - said then that I spar to learn more about people, but it is also important to study fighting because enemies can do the same too. Maybe not me (she said she would never raise a sword to me if I was an enemy) but someone with the same fighting style. This is why I worry. Katsu is strong. Very strong. But to train only by killing or fighting what wants to kill you instead of practicing where it is safer...then again, that is her way. I can not her, and will not. I will continue to support. But if I can not learn more by sparring, I wonder how else I can...

Entry 2

Had lunch with Kana yesterday. Told me about a lifetime before Erinn. I still do not understand much about the Traveler that he talked about, but understand what he said about imbalances in that world. For a long time I have wondered about people from Soul Stream. Think Katsu is from it too. Mariella, Kana, Aura, Xeek...a lot of people I know, and all from different places. They die, they come back. Think that kind of life must be lonely. People around them get old and die, and they still live. Was told I died once too. Not as Fenrir, but when younger. Died for Katsu, but do not remember dying. I just remember healing her, and then people said I disappeared for many months. Don't remember what happened during those months though.

But when talking with Kana, he warned about something Mariella was doing as an alchemist. Remember a long time ago, she tried making me a body that was not a sword. There was also a time when I studied golems while trying to become something like them. What Mariella is studying is dangerous. Something that might bring more suffering to Erinn. Can not allow that to happen again if it is true, but will talk to her. Mariella has a good heart despite everything done. She would at least talk and listen. Need to learn what is really happening. Need to know the truth. I do not want her to become another Fenrir, or anybody else.

Entry 3

Something is wrong again. Met Dalvar and Syiano in Emain Macha. Dalvar was looking...different. Sad maybe. Talked about what was wrong when eating lunch. Said that Syiano and someone named Zachary Dellinger were in trouble. "Zach" was a bandit and somebody framed (sidenote: means accused of a crime that isn't true). Helping because of what the crime was. Said that Zach was the person that told Fenrir things to do during the war. Sent letters. Know this is not true because I am...was...Fenrir. Knew what the other me's plans were since I was there to make them too. Very serious to be framed for this. I know what Fenrir wanted to be and what he became. Requiem knows. But can not prove with just words, Dalvar said. I do not look like Fenrir anymore either, so people would not believe no matter what I say.

Need evidence.

Going to start looking in places where Requiem began. Maybe can find clues or evidence in dungeons about Fenrir. Or know what he was doing after I...no longer was him. When he became the other me. True I do not know what he did then, but I still felt things. Still do. That is how I know, but need to make it so other people understand. I am not just doing this for Zach, or Dalvar. I am doing this for Requiem, for Fenrir, and for me. People need to know the truth about Requiem. The one I know Fenrir was never able to tell them.

Will start in Rabbie. That was where it began. Maybe her part of the dungeon still has something.

YEAR 1
New Journal

Don't know how long it's been, but I seem to have forgotten much for a long time. Should have written in this sooner when Brother suggested it.

Put my old journal somewhere, with many memories. Can't remember exactly where, but I know it's safe.

Did the same with my old treasure. Don't know why I didn't keep both. Can't remember the reason I hid them. Hopefully it'll come back to me.

Gleipnir is...actually showing concern. It's more unnerving than comforting. Still, he asks questions. Small ones. They help me remember things now and then, but it's frustrating when I can't. The answers still just feel like they vanish when I think of them, or have been gone for a while. They used to all come back at some time; but now, I think some are still missing.

Don't know what else to write right now. Might visit Brother for some answers, or...

Letters. I wrote letters. I had people to visit. Where did-- (The rest is of the words on the page are scribbled in a hurry as a number of things come to mind - one thought after another and nothing too legible.)

YEAR 2
New Journal

Entry 1

Decided to go back to school a few days ago. Children's school, in Tara. Thought it might help with older memories I'd lost when younger. With my appearance, teachers did not seem to mind, nor did student children. Nobody there knew me, but it was a big town. Many unknown children, so one asked about it. The kids thought my problems were funny though. Asked me more questions than Gleipnir ever did - simpler questions. But still, they treated me like a child, like them. Played, talked, even shared lunches. They were happy that I knew how to cook. Liked it a lot, but had to stop after a while - their parents didn't like it for some reason. It was all...fun. Felt like a child again - something I didn't even feel like when I was a child.

But then there was the explosion, and the fire.

Nobody in my class survived, except for one girl. Her name was Kerdia.

-10 years old.
-Liked mushroom cookies I brought for lunch.
-Parents worked for Tara bank.
-Teacher calls her very smart.
-Teacher calls all of us very smart.

Remember that much. And that I fell on her desk when the explosion came. While she was sitting in it. Broke her legs. Accident. Was able to carry her outside. Handed her to an adult to get sent to the infirmary. It was the last I saw of her, but was told she'd be alright.

Not so sure about that. When she wakes, she'll wake with her friends and teachers gone. If she doesn't forget, she'll wake with memories of being caught in that fire and almost crushed by me and that shelf falling on her. Children shouldn't have to wake to something like that.

And strangely, I felt nothing toward it or those that died - no pain, sorrow, anger. Nothing. Gleipnir however, was outraged. More than I can ever remember him being. He's quiet now, but I can still sense it. Angry with Fomors who killed the children, with me for not sharing his want for , and with himself for...reasons he hasn't told. I asked him; but he won't answer. Been silent ever since.

I want to do something. But whenever I think about it, I find myself saying something like, "My war is over." But I don't know if I believe it. Not until I can remember what my war was for.

---

Entry 2

Decided to leave Tara today after seeing Keria would be safe - visited while she was sleeping in the infirmary. Nurse said she had to stay there a few days to recover. The nurse suggested I keep her company while she was there, but I refused. Made her promise to never say I visited either. Might have been wrong, but I did not want her seeing me like this - someone uncaring about her loss or injuries. It all felt wrong.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I know I wasn't always like this, but I can't remember what I'm missing anymore. Gleipnir still won't talk to me. I was thinking of maybe leaving Uldah for a while - returning to Asgarrd where I could be at peace and think. At least to someplace on the continent where nobody would bother me.

I was sent a letter while setting out from Tara though. Someone named Kurohi was giving me news. Said I might like it in the letter. Something about a continent with a new settlement having been founded on it - a place where humans and fomors lived together. Also said they were trying to branch trade into other places in Uldah. The name sounded familiar, but I don't remember a Kurohi. Reading aloud made Gleipnir speak again though. He demanded we go to this new land and see for ourselves. Not sure how it would help me, but if his anger was taken away that quickly by the news, maybe there is something that could make me remember. I'll be taking the next boat from Cobh.