Derez (my Human Character)

Character Name: Derez
How You Heard About The RP Society: I'm A Member
How Long Have You Been Roleplaying? 4-5 Years
Is English Your First Language? yes
A Short Biography Of Your Character: Growing up Derez never got the pleasure of knowing his family. He grew up fighting and never let anyone close to him. for a time Derez wanted to destroy all of life. But then one day the only friend he ever had, MasterNeko told him to take a look at what his plans really entailed. Not understanding the kind man's words Derez had nearly fulfilled his plans But as soon as he was about to he was stopped by a Paladin. now Derez wishes only to repent for the sins he committed and the Lives he took
What type of character do you play? Mele
What is your Mabinogi schedule?[ Everyday unless i have no connection

I would call it questionable because of the grammar. The bio is short (too short actually) and there is a cliche in there referring to classical boy hero "who saves the world". Such intention will lead to god-modding and plot-modding just to have the plots fit together; kinda like Ruairi with G3.

If you're not a member, I would put you under, "Mentor Necessary"
But since you are a member...I would still put you under, "Mentor Necessary"

Jinnhin wrote:there is a cliche in there referring to classical boy hero "who saves the world".

Everyone was called by the Goddess to save the world.
Don't you remember~?

That aside, some polishing is needed.
/:

Though that is the storyline of Mabinogi, Dalvar, Galin is actually a Bangorian, not a Soul Streamer.

Another tool more morrigath I am sure

sorry guys i was half awake and i just wanted to get it done ^^;