Character Name - Akitan

Character Name: Akitan
How You Heard About The RP Society: from guild leader (Captincrunch)
How Long Have You Been Roleplaying? seance about 6-7 years ago
Is English Your First Language? yes
A Short Biography Of Your Character: As a child Akitan was found near dead In The middle Of The Longa Desert by Meles. he had no memories, except for the image of a figure in Black Armor slaughtering anyone it could find. now with no memories except for the Black Armored person Akitan strives to become stronger. Because of his memory Akitan has a strong fear of anyone wearing Black Armor
What type of character do you play? Range
What is your Mabinogi schedule? random (at least once every day unless internet fails)

Akitan wrote:Character Name: Akitan
How You Heard About The RP Society:From Guild Leader (Captincrunch)
How Long Have You Been Roleplaying? seance about 6-7 years ago
Is English Your First Language? yes
A Short Biography Of Your Character: Akitan was born and raised in a Village deep in the Rupes Desert after the destruction of His Home Village witch was Caused by An Infra Black Akitan Desired to Become A "True Warrior" Then One Day He Heard About A Power Known As A "Falcon Elf" And Ever Seance That Day He Strives to Obtain The "Falcon Elf" Form And Take Revenge On The Infra Black Of Witch Killed All Of His Friends And Family
What type of character do you play? Range
What is your Mabinogi schedule?[ Random (At least Once Every Day Unless Internet Fails)

Hi Akitan, you might want to put . or , to catch your breathe.

sorry i don't use "." i never really pay attention XD

Proper punctuation and spelling are two of the keys required to get in.

well i'm sorry i've never had problems with ppl about this b4. i'll fix it but i'm not rly that great of a speller. never have been XD. srry

Points for trying. Don't give up! :3

Thank you for that ^^

If I may be so bold as to offer an assist with grammar and continuity.
There is information that your character knows and there is information that you as the player knows.... changes highlighted, well except all the capitalizations in the last two sentences.

Akitan was born and raised in a Village deep in the Rupes Desert.
After the destruction of his home village witch which was caused by an Infra Black a Black Knight, Akitan desired to become A "True Warrior".
Then One day he heard about a power known as A "Falcon Elf" the power of the ancient Elves.
And Ever Seance since that day he strives to obtain the "Falcon Elf" Form power of the anchient Elves, and only then take revenge on the Infra Black Knight Of Witch who had killed all of his friends and family.

.....................................................................
You have some strong ideas, you just need to work a bit on your writing skills a bit.
Lucky for you we have mentors who would be happy to help you along the way to becoming a star role player.
..................................................................
If there are no objections by Friday, you will be in the guild and we can then find you a mentor or two willing to lend you a hand, after introductions are made of course.

Please read the guild rules before then.

Captincrunch wrote:If I may be so bold as to offer an assist with grammar and continuity.
There is information that your character knows and there is information that you as the player knows.... changes highlighted, well except all the capitalizations in the last two sentences.

Akitan was born and raised in a Village deep in the Rupes Desert.
After the destruction of his home village witch which was caused by an Infra Black a Black Knight, Akitan desired to become A "True Warrior".
Then One day he heard about a power known as A "Falcon Elf" the power of the ancient Elves.
And Ever Seance since that day he strives to obtain the "Falcon Elf" Form power of the anchient Elves, and only then take revenge on the Infra Black Knight Of Witch who had killed all of his friends and family.

.....................................................................
You have some strong ideas, you just need to work a bit on your writing skills a bit.
Lucky for you we have mentors who would be happy to help you along the way to becoming a star role player.
..................................................................
If there are no objections by Friday, you will be in the guild and we can then find you a mentor or two willing to lend you a hand, after introductions are made of course.

Please read the guild rules before then.

i waited for this time for long:

the "Falcon Elf" Form power of the anchient Elves ancient, and only then take revenge on the Infra Black Knight Of Witch who had killed all of his friends and family.

and i found a mistake in your post

i meant the Final Form of a Dark Knight witch is called an Infra Black

You know that, but all your character would or should know is that someone in black armor destroyed his home.

I don't think even the NPCs refer to the individual ranks

That is what I was trying to point out.
Its a common mistake of people new to RP.

That is keeping separate what YOU as a player know and what the character knows.

dweramond - better have your English teacher check the grammar correction you made, but I don't have a screenshot of the dialogue with the NPCs so you could be correct. NEXON is know for really bad translations and butchering the already rather messy English language.

i just changed the hole story :3

If you get tired of it then just rewrite it - this kid learns fast

Captincrunch wrote: If you get tired of it then just rewrite it - this kid learns fast

Thnx :3

No problem, just be careful about the use of TEXT-Speak when in RP sessions and try and avoid spelling boo boos ( well as much we all at least try to)


I am currious though since you say that you have Role Played for about six years.
What RPGs have you played and with who or where.....