Vayne&Co's crap.

I found I frequently write lyrics--even make the tune to go with them--based on my character's happenings. I liked some of them, so I decided I'd start putting up my work. :3 I am a bit of a show off. ANYWAY! My first ones here....NOW!

Vayne: A short song of well, I can't remember the occasion, and I never named it.
I try to believe that this will be good for you
Much as it hurts your better off this way
My new mantra it doesn’t seem
To do much good I still believe
You need me…

As much as I need you.

I am trying to believe that this is true
I tell myself that I’m fine without you
But as much as I say it
My heart won’t be swayed it
Won’t give up won’t let me be
Cause it’s not true

It doesn’t matter what I say
It can’t be better off this way
There’s not joy without you smiling in my life
But I don’t see another way
To get you back and have you stay
You came and left
Now cursed once blessed
I’m not okay

I try and say it was not meant to be
I tell myself I was blind but I see
It never has been clearer
There is nothing I hold dearer
I still need you…

I feel that you need me too.

It doesn’t matter what I say
It can’t be better off this way
There’s not joy without you smiling in my life
But I don’t see another way
To get you back and have you stay
You came and left
Now cursed once blessed
I’m not okay…


Ronyx: Ronyx' Song.
I stand alone
And I cry
Knowing that nothing will be alright
Forever more
In my core
I’ll just keep on bleeding.

I know, when I held her hand
And helped her stand
That I had found my meaning
But now, I’m just the past.
My use has passed
She’s happy but she don’t need me

And I shoulda seen it from the start
But I was blind with perfect eyes
I shouldn’t even be here
How could I ever be dear?
Letting her go…
Is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and now,
Will I ever be okay?

I’m glad, she found a man.
To keep that hand
And to make sure that she’ll always stand
And I know, that she’ll be fine.
And though not mine,
She’s still my everything
And I shoulda seen it from the start
But I was blind with perfect eyes
I shouldn’t even be here
How could I ever be dear?
Letting her go…
Is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and now,
Will I ever be okay?

More to come. :3

Alright, few more up tonight!!!




I have a few more I wrote recently, but they are all either religious, containing explicit words, controversial, offensive, and all of the above in one instance. For those, please contact me and I'll get them to you if interest is expressed.

Took a hiatus, but depression has been getting to me so I got back to writing songs, mostly on situations.

My Daddy's Hands.

Of every memory I have one that always stands
stands out more than the rest.
Ancient thoughts of daddy’s hands.
when he’d tuck me into bed.

Playing ball in the front yard
not a care in the world.
A single care in the world.

Cat’s in cradle,
everyone grows up.
I didn’t think it’d be this hard.
No more ‘I love yous’
no more ball in the front yard.
No more time for him, he has no time for me.
But every night I remember,
My daddy’s hands.

Daddy’s hands were always loving.
Even when they’d make me sting.
Daddy’s hands were the best hands in the world.
Now I don’t even get a handshake.

Cat’s in cradle,
everyone grows up.
I didn’t think it’d be this hard.
No more ‘I love yous’
no more ball in the front yard.
No more time for him, he has no time for me.
But every night I remember,
My daddy’s hands.

Dear daddy I always loved you.
I wanna know if you still love me too.
I know I’m not perfect,
I know I’ve let you down.
But every day, you oughtta know that I still pray.
That I’ll feel your hands again someday.



Cat’s in cradle,
everyone grows up.
I didn’t think it’d be this hard.
No more ‘I love yous’
no more ball in the front yard.
No more time for him, he has no time for me.
But every night I remember,
My daddy’s hands.

Isn't it ironic that some of the easiest writing you do comes when you're depressed? It flows so easily at those points. I enjoy the song. Hard to tell the beat, but it certainly tells a decent story.

At that person who's generally not around these parts. SUPER LATE REPLY. Wheeeee! Yes. it's really hard to tell the beat sometimes. Not only am I not too good at putting things in a good format, but some of the things I put to music really are just...freeverse. I'm singing freeverse.

So much creativity lately, though most of it isn't too happy and it revolves around a character not in RPS or even in Mabi. But, even if they're not from here and really not all that great...! More from me. I'll release each one after it gets released IC, unless there's no intent for it to ever be known IC--in which I'll put it down immediately.

Answered Galin up there out of compulsiveness, and to explain that...yeah. May be a bit hard to get the feel for rhythm. I suck at writing it! 8D

Butyeah. On a Lovestruck Lahnt spree!



And no. He'll never come to Mabi. At least I doubt it.

Seems his escapades are done. Unless he continues to write about other things. I think he likes writing. even if he sucks.

"Please"

I am..terrified of all things.
I'm frightened of this dark I live in..
Yes, I am.

But for you, I would take on all things.
I'd take on the world,
To know you.

Please, let me in.
If you doubt me, if you're scared.
Let me show you who I am.
I'll show you my scars,
you can show me yours.

I am..not the greatest person.
I know I have flaws,
I do.

You are...the only thing that makes sense.
Even though you don't.
Help me understand you.
Help me.

Please, let me in.
If you doubt me, if you're scared.
Let me show you who I am.
I'll show you my scars,
you can show me yours.

-----

This world is full of pain.
Do you think that I don't know..?
All I see is rain,
but there's so much more to feel.
These memories pierce my heart.
Old familiar scars.
If I could kill it all I would.
But...I remember everything.

Do you think that I don't know?
My closest friend?
Everything I love goes away in the end.
But I still have to try.
Walking on these thorns.
There's more than pain.
Let me prove it to you.
I rest upon my throne.
A rotten, broken chair.
It was..all my fault.
The guilt is mine alone to bear.

There's blood upon these hands.
Do you think that I don't know?
I may not know your pain.
But I remember. remember the rain.
But nobody should hurt.
Not you, not me.
Everyone around deserves a chance..
to be free.

I would give it all.
My everything.
Just to give you a day..
where peace is all that rings.

If I could turn back time,
even..if you never met me.
I'd take away your pain.
I'd fix everything.
----

A heart that's guarded like a treasure
A life that must be so hard..
Wounds that just won't heal.

I see behind the laughs
Behind attempts to push me away.
I'm still..
I'm still here for you.

You're hardened
But I know you're worth it
Every bad night
Every eye that's run dry.

All of it is worth it to know you.
All of it is worth it to have you.
All of it is worth it to be with you.

Hoping.
Dreaming.

This is my only wish,
My only motive I act with

All of it is worth it to know you.
All of it is worth it to have you.
All of it is worth it to be with you,

Just you

Such a beautiful girl.
Such a guarded heart.

All of it is worth it to know you.
All of it is worth it to have you.
All of it is worth it to be with you,

Just you

-------------------------

And one that won't get shown to the world IC, even if it exists! \o/ It was one of two he ended up writing. But he used the other. Which...I'm surprised to say, I was impressed by. Normally in LahntMode poetry is so horrible that it's given it's own name. Lahntetry, it's not GOOD enough to be real poetry. ..But, this one..well. I'll put it up later. First, this sucky one too!

I had a thought last night.
A dream that you were gone.

It scared me half to death I felt so out of breath.
But I would follow you,
Even if I had to fly forever.

If this is what you're thinking:
no, I haven't been drinking.

If it meant being with you..
I'd ignore everything.

Don't go away...
I'll pretend I'm..not in love.
For me..and you.

Don't go away,
I'll pretend I'm not in love.
If it'd really help you.

Went over everything,
everything I feel.

And then I realized if friend's what I get
I'll take what I can.

I wouldn't be too upset,
I'd just be glad to have you.

I can't get over it..
I feel so alone without you.
Was it so wrong to want to be close to you?
..It doesn't matter. Let me offer this:

I'll ignore everything,
And I'd do it all for you.

Don't go away.
I'll pretend I'm not in love.
If it's good for you.

Don't go away.
I'll pretend I'm not in love.
If you need me to.

I'm not asking for forgiveness,
'Cause I don't know what I did.
But I know I won't forgive the life you got put through.

I feel you're at the doorstep,
and the thought's too much too take..
But this sappy romance isn't what you wanna hear, right?

So we'll go anywhere you want,
And I won't send another shitty poem.

I just..don't wanna be alone without you.

I'll ignore everything,
I'd do it all for you!

Don't go away.
I'll pretend I'm not in love,
if it's good for you.

Don't go away!
I'll pretend I'm not in love.
If you need me to.

Don't go away!
I'll pretend I'm not in love.
I won't say a word.

Don't go away.
I'll pretend I'm not in love.
Because you're my best friend.

I'll ignore everything,
If it only means I don't lose you.

Written by Vayne, at the breaking point of being separated from his wife and burdened with fears instilled in him by his peers.

Alone

You sit on a bench,
And you squirm in a chair.
You stretch out on the couch,
You could fall asleep there.

But you lie in your bed,
And you fight to not think.
Take off your day clothes
And stare in the sink.

You look into the mirror,
Such a pretty man, a pretty home.
But it doesn't mean a thing,
You're living alone.
You clean out your study,
And you listen to the clock.
do some yardwork,
And you pick up someone's sock.

You put up your feet,
And you jump on the bed.
You hate this empty house,
how it's quiet and dead.
And you gaze at the portrait
Of for whom you long.
You could do anything, but you do nothing.
You're living alone.
Maybe you were always alone,
And you just didn't know it.
You were living with someone,
But did you somehow blow it?

If there's one thing you learned,
After being with her.
It's that you're not as complete
but maybe you never were.
So you stoke the fire,
You fight off the cold.
You flip through a book
As the day grows old.

You can be your own boss,
You can do as you please.
You can sing and shout,
You can let in the breeze.
You sit down for dinner.
Of course, you cooked your own,
Light a candle and wish she were here,
You're living alone.
You think about her,
And you hope it's not the end.
The memories have become your very best friend.
You're back in your first house,
You're fighting off fear.
Fighting back the feelings that the end is near.
You're writing and fighting in your shell of a home,
Your life summed up: you're living alone.
Maybe you were always alone,
And you just didn't see it.
You tried being someone's everything,
But you just couldnt' be it.

And if there's one thing you've learned after all of it,
It's you're usually fired because you won't quit.
Maybe you need a dog, some fish, and a cat.
A big old python and a couple of rats.

So scared the end is at hand,
wished you had the means.
To turn it all around but you don't, so you scream.
She's leaving you fear,
Your children have grown.
And you feel so, so old..
Because you're living alone.

So scared the end is at hand,
Wished you had the means.
To turn it all around, but you don't, so you scream.

Method writing is an amazing thing. It's incredibly, the stories that come out..it's strange, how the pain of my character comes to some of my favorite little bits of poetry. (That's not to say I like them being miserable. I don't. >_> )

Ghosts

There's a moment in time that I think we all face in the prospects of eternity. That moment, you see, is when you come to the realization that your closest friends are ghosts. Sure, the people still exist, we march on through life's battles, but over the years, we start to leave things behind. We get stripped away of so many things, and other facets of ourselves manifest in their place. We change. It's really just a question of how we handle it, not if we have to. Looking down, staring at my hands and wondering why, wishing I could bring the ghosts that you and I knew back, wishing that I could bring us back, I saw you were a ghost. And I then realized I was a ghost, too. Living in a hell I never asked for, and longing for life again. And though you were miles away, I felt you, too. I felt your pain. I knew you were there, too, somewhere. So I wrote this. A song about clinging to the ghosts, wishing with all of your might that they come back. Because sometimes, one may reason, sometimes the impossible happens. And it's a long shot, but it's all you have left, because the future is a dark, dangerous, scary, lonely place that you can't face. Maybe, just maybe..those ghosts come back to life. Or better still, maybe the people they've become find a way to make things work. Maybe, these ghosts are reminding me. Reminding me of who I am, and of my worth. I have to try.

Close my eyes,
Take me back to those days I miss.
In a land of the dead,
Where a ghost gives a soft caress and gentle kiss.

They have beautiful flaws,
cracks in crystal hearts,
But they're there for me, and I them,
At least until the moon falls.

These ghosts that we knew,
We called them mother; father.
You called one lover, and I did too.
Those ghosts that we knew,
Of me and of you.
They're not dead, they're just hiding out of sight.
Watching, shaking their heads at our lives.

Open the closet,
The skeletons want out.
They're not here to hurt you,
But help you through doubt.

These ghosts, these memories,
They show us the light,
That there's still a chance for us and our life.

Whispers before I wake,
calling me back.
Back to my home,
forgiving me of my mistakes.

Sweet nothings murmer,
As another long day breaks.
What was could be again.
Phantasms of the past,
telling me to do whatever it takes.

I opened the closet,
the skeletons came out,
and oh the things that I learned.

These ghosts, these possibilities,
The show me the light,
and promise me it'll all be alright.

The past is full of mistakes,
The future is black and unknown.
But the ghosts, they teach me,
they show me the light.
And promise me it'll all be alright.

I'm worth it, it'll all be alright.