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New Member-Durandarte

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Post  Durandarte Sun Jul 15, 2012 9:37 pm

Character Name: Durandarte Ankisubeta
How You Heard About The RP Society: Brother/rumors
How Long Have You Been Roleplaying? A few weeks
Is English Your First Language? Yes
Edit by Soifa. Old bio is in spoilers.
Spoiler:
A Short Biography Of Your Character: Durandarte Originated in Juralshim, a place of endless war, death and rebirth. He had no childhood memories, only memories of endless death and pain, enough to make even the cheeriest man cold and cynical. Through uncountable battles he honed in skills with blades, but even with the skills he had he was struck down by a warrior in black armor. When he awoke he went to grab his blade "Rajashi" and get back into the fray, but looking around he noticed he looked like he was in a almost cave like area, a large statue showing some angel like figure above him. Seeing only one path he followed the cavern, before long he encountered creature of a nature he had never seen. Seeing weapons and malicious intent in their eyes he cut down them down. He made his way forward, soon finding himself in a large room with a blue haired girl wearing a mask. He made his way past her without any word. When he was several steps past her she tried to attack but, he slammed her to the ground and held her and sword point.
She spoke trying to seem brave, "Go on finish me like you did all the others," her voice quivering with fear. He just stared at her his eyes sharp and hard. "I see no reason to kill that which poses no threat to me. Your attack held no malicious intent, only fear. However if you try to strike me again I will strike you down. " He slung his sword over his back and walked away. She stayed on the ground looking at him for a few moments then got up and followed him for what reason even she didn't know. Finding his way out of the cave, the blue haired girl Aoirohime close behind, he came out into land unfamiliar to him. "Where is this place?" he asked her. "My kind call this place Paradise." She replied. He looked around and saw no war or death and decided he might stay here and try a life he had never known…

What type of character do you play? cold, fallen Spell Sword
What is your Mabinogi schedule? normally try to be on about 1.5 to 2 hours a day about 5 times a week.


Last edited by Durandarte on Mon Jul 16, 2012 11:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post  Glaceon Sun Jul 15, 2012 9:51 pm

Judging by bio, it's Milletian. That's easy to tell.


I believe it's going to be asked, but who is your brother?

Also. Clean up the bio. A lot. Like fix grammar and make it more readable. There are issues all over the place and I can't find where one sentence ends and another one starts. That's is a request that will help a lot of people out, because a messy bio, grammatically that is, isn't going to really get your the approvals to get in quickly. Also keep in mind that Mainstream Story doesn't happen to your character ICly, it's all OOC events, and NPCs, such as Morgant, don't take favortism, so yea... Just a few things to keep in mind. But all in all...please make your bio more legible, right now I have serious issues reading it.
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Post  Vayne Sun Jul 15, 2012 10:10 pm

^ That. If we're going to do anything with this bio, we're all going to need to be able to read it just a bit better! I'd greatly appreciate any time put into cleaning this up. Thank you!
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Post  Dellinger Mon Jul 16, 2012 1:13 am

I would also appreciate a slight edit to this. It's a bit difficult to read. I remember you mentioning this was a past fanfic, so maybe doing some minor edits would make this clearer for all of us. =]
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Post  Kenelm Mon Jul 16, 2012 8:38 am

There are some spelling errors, and there are numerous punctuation errors. Correcting these along with the grammar, will make this much more readable. I would also like to see the appropriate number of paragraphs appear. (I was getting a headache trying to read it, so I stopped.)
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Post  Durandarte Mon Jul 16, 2012 12:25 pm

Sorry i wrote it in note pad so the lines spacing and spelling may be off. As for my sister (if its brother in the bio i need to fix that) its one of my alts, though im rarely on her often nowadays. The plot was made for a fan fic about a year back, I had debated redoing it, and I probably still will, but a few of your members I met the other day just said go ahead and post it. I have a lot of time today so I will review it and repost it as soon as I can. Once again my apoligies.
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Post  Durandarte Mon Jul 16, 2012 11:58 pm

Edited and adapted bio for Durandarte. Feel free to point out any issues and i will try to fix them as soon as i can.
A Short Biography Of Your Character: Durandal came to Erinn and settled into the life of a paladin in Emain Macha. He lived a reasonably peaceful life and was well liked among those in town for his warm demeanor and openness. When the Tragedy of Emain Macha befell the town he tried his best to defend the town, but was eventually overwhelmed. When he came to the town was in ruins, but just on the edge of hearing he heard a whimper. He rushed to the source of the sound and found a young red headed girl named Yoshinbu. He took her in and bandaged her up. After she had a full recovery he left her in the care of the paladins to seek out the hero Lugh and train under him. After years of searching and dead ends he hears a rumor of a ghost if Fiodh dungeon. When he reached the end he found no ghost, but Morgant. After a short clash Morgant looked at him and said "I can see the hatred in your eyes, but it is not for me, no it is for yourself. Not being able to defend your precious town. Come with me and I will show you how to harness it into a true power." Realizing what he said was true he became his apprentice.
He did numerous errands in dungeon for his master, and on one of those runs he met a shy blue haired siren. Her name was Aoirohime and she seemed almost uncomfortable when he entered the room. She tried to combat him, but he easily bested her, leaving her on the ground he started to walk away, but she called after him "Why don't you finish me?"
He turned and stared at her, his eyes sharp and his words cold "You didn't attack with malice, just fear. Besides your no threat to me. However if you wish to leave this life you may follow me, your new one may not be easy, but you may like it more." And he just began to walk away. She hesitated, but followed after the man she feared yet felt a warm feeling in her chest for. When she left the dungeon he just walked away from her. "Talk to Krystal, she can help you."
Soon after he became a Dark Knight and left his tutelage under The Dark Lord. He tracked down his adopted sister(Yoshinbu) and found she had done well for herself. He went about his business, but always kept an eye on her from the shadows…
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Post  Glaceon Tue Jul 17, 2012 2:07 am

The only -real- issue I'm seeing, and going to point out like I did before, is:

The Mainstream Questlines, Basically the Main G1-G16 quests, don't happen ICly. So what this means is the whole meeting Morgant and all that stuff in the bio isn't going to fly. Secondly, Mainstream NPCs, no matter who they are, will -not- show favortism towards Player Characters. These are the main two issues I can see at the moment.

We can make up our own NPCS, but the Mainstream ones are only set to do their job, and unless given permission by the council, are only going to do their job. Mainstream NPCs, to clarify, are the actual NPCs in the game that serve a purpose, usually they are named (Agnes, Beggar, Owens, etc etc). However, depending on the city, you are able to make an NPC up to have them do whatever, name it whatever you want, but usually they have a set job, like Healer No. 1243 named Claire or something. However, Agnes will never show favoritism towards us. Heck, you leave them be a few days RL and they forget you exist basically.

As for the whole Generation thing, the Council has already decided that an NPC did all the mainstream stuff, and not us. IT's mainly put there for the reason that things happen that can't happen over 100 times over and over again, due to multiple people all doing their quests, multiple copies of the One-of-a-kind sword existing being found. I hope that makes sense.

Perhaps you could talk with Dellinger and he'll help you out with making a more manageable bio. It's nice, but I don't think the fanfic here is going to work out ICly.
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Post  Xeek Tue Jul 17, 2012 8:02 am

Well, there is a small trick I've been saving for a rainy day. While I planned using it on one of my future characters. Here it is,
*drum rolls* He could be from an alternative Erinn. It's possible that, if he somehow died (maybe anti-millitean weapon, or if he wasn't a millitean), he goes to our version of Erinn.
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Post  Teoxihuitl Tue Jul 17, 2012 12:52 pm

Xeek wrote:Well, there is a small trick I've been saving for a rainy day. While I planned using it on one of my future characters. Here it is,
*drum rolls* He could be from an alternative Erinn. It's possible that, if he somehow died (maybe anti-millitean weapon, or if he wasn't a millitean), he goes to our version of Erinn.


Actually I used that on a Eu players bio to get them into the guild.
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Post  Xeek Tue Jul 17, 2012 1:37 pm

Darn.. I guess it won't be original but it'll get the point done.
He'll just have to change a few things. Of course, the final thing is his call.
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Post  Durandarte Tue Jul 17, 2012 10:22 pm

Xeek wrote:Darn.. I guess it won't be original but it'll get the point done.
He'll just have to change a few things. Of course, the final thing is his call.
If I could I actually might like to run with that. What kind of changes would you recommend so I don't seem like I'm ripping him off (sorry I don't know what was written so :/)
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Post  Xeek Tue Jul 17, 2012 10:46 pm

Oh, no changes like that. I mean changes like, how he died. But it depends on the rules of the world. Basically, what killed him and make him come to our Erinn. Or how did he come to our world, if he didn't die.

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Post  Durandarte Wed Jul 18, 2012 6:42 pm

A Short Biography Of Your Character: Durandarte Originated in Juralshim, a place of endless war, death and rebirth. He had no childhood memories, only memories of endless death and pain, enough to make even the cheeriest man cold and cynical. Through uncountable battles he honed in skills with blades, but even with the skills he had he was struck down by a warrior in black armor.
When he awoke he went to grab his blade "Rajashi" and get back into the fray, but looking around he noticed he looked like he was in a almost cave like area, a large statue showing some angel like figure above him. Seeing only one path he followed the cavern, before long he encountered creature of a nature he had never seen. Seeing weapons and malicious intent in their eyes he cut down them down. He made his way forward, soon finding himself in a large room with a blue haired girl wearing a mask. He made his way past her without any word. When he was several steps past her she tried to attack but, he slammed her to the ground and held her and sword point.
She spoke trying to seem brave, "Go on finish me like you did all the others," her voice quivering with fear.
He just stared at her his eyes sharp and hard. "I see no reason to kill that which poses no threat to me. Your attack held no malicious intent, only fear. However if you try to strike me again I will strike you down. " He slung his sword over his back and walked away. She stayed on the ground looking at him for a few moments then got up and followed him for what reason even she didn't know.
Finding his way out of the cave, the blue haired girl Aoirohime close behind, he came out into land unfamiliar to him. "Where is this place?" he asked her.
"My kind call this place Paradise." She replied. He looked around and saw no war or death and decided he might stay here and try a life he had never known…
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Post  Glaceon Wed Jul 18, 2012 7:31 pm

Story is confusing, how did he GET to Erinn?
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Post  Durandarte Wed Jul 18, 2012 7:42 pm

He was killed back on his world and when he was resurrected he was just there, plain and simple.
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Post  Teoxihuitl Wed Jul 18, 2012 9:22 pm

Approved, someone should make his latest post the first post as it is his current bio.

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Post  Guest Wed Jul 18, 2012 9:25 pm

I edited it.

Old bio is in spoiler tags.

Approved.

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Post  Dellinger Wed Jul 18, 2012 11:07 pm

Approved. There's work that could be done, but it's minor and it'll certainly work itself out soon enough, my friend. =]

Release the hounds~
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Post  Guest Wed Jul 18, 2012 11:08 pm

Be sure to apply at the guild stone if you have yet to do so.

Moving this thread to approved.

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Post  Durandarte Wed Jul 18, 2012 11:17 pm

Soifa Toten wrote:Be sure to apply at the guild stone if you have yet to do so.

Moving this thread to approved.
Xeek invited me the other day so i should have a application in already.
and thank you everyone
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Post  Guest Wed Jul 18, 2012 11:26 pm

Alright, once the leader or officer is online they should let you in.

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Post  Durandarte Wed Jul 18, 2012 11:27 pm

okay. I'll be waiting, hope to see you all soon.
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