New Member- Lordvash

Character Name: Lordvash
How You Heard About The RP Society: Shindeshasu and legends around the campfire
How Long Have You Been Roleplaying? 2 months
Is English Your First Language? yes
A Short Biography Of Your Character: The story of Lordvash is sad and grim Tragedy, a once good and noble Lord of a far away kingdom that time has erased from memory was once love by his people and respected from far and wide to only later to slip into madness. Lordvash had a loving wife named Sofia that whose beauty was compared to the like of the Goddess Nao and riches he had more than he could ever spend you might say Lordvash had it all until fate took it all away. About 5 years ago Lordvash was asleep in his castle that looked over his kingdom when an homeless Ogre creeped into the land mad because of a swamp it lost that once it called home but due to urban sprawl Lordvash had to turn it into residential housing for his growing population. The Ogre made it all the way to the castle without being noticed do to the guards being drunk for it was a holiday. The beast climbed and climbed up the castle wall while griping something hairy and gray in its right hand until it reached the last window the Ogre went in. Lordvash awoke to a wet crunching sound he rubbed his eyes and lit the candle next to his night stand, the vision he saw would haunt him for the rest of his life there was the ogre with a donkey and the ogre was eating something huge then Lordvash realized what it was his wife Sofia a cold wave crept up his spine he was to horrified to move then the donkey spoke: "was she tasty Shreik" the ogre leaned over to Lordvash and said with a low growl "yes but a little to rich for my tastes". Then Lordvash ask with a quiver in his "voice why have you done this? The ogre replied "you took my land so I'm going to take everything from you" with this the donkey broke out in a loud laughter, Lordvash could not take anymore of this madness he reached under his bed for his trusted broad sword but the ogre was too quick he grabbed the Lord and flung him out the window into the summer night as if he was a rag doll that was done being played with. the last thing he remembered as the ground came rushing to him was "dear Goddess Nora let me have my vengeance" and with this he reached the bottom. Well thank the Goddess that the lord had put in a fresh moat the year before due to threats of a growing rise in monster sightings or his story would have ended here but luckily he just got a premature bath instead of a dirt nap, he rose from the slimy water gasping for air then he swam to the bank with the rest of his strength once the got there he had enough and passed out. When he woke for the second time he was shocked for the second time smoke filled the air he could see his whole kingdom in fiery embers the ogre had made good on his word he thought the monster had took everything. There were no survivors but the lord without a kingdom had not lost everything he had the only thing the ogre had left him "revenge". He decided quickly that he would not join his dead wife till he had tasted the flesh of the ogre and his donkey, he walk for days cold and hungry until he came across a monk laying next to a tree bleeding to death clearly the monk had been robbed and stabbed by bandits the landless lord asked him "Is there any thing I can do? the monk replied "no its too late much blood has left my body' it was true blood seemed to have flowed out of him as if a dam had busted. The monks last words were" don't feel for me stranger I have no regrets I have converted many to the path of the Goddess and have been shown much kindness in every town I have been in I have lived good" then the monk closed his eyes and went to into a internal sleep. Lordvash looked at the horse that belonged to monk the bandits had left it was a old horse not worth stealing Lordvash thought and there was a old robe and books. Lordvash thought about what the monk had said he had been shown much kindness, to Lordvash this meant free food and housing so he donned the ragged robe and mounted the old horse he now was a monk. The act worked well on his quest for the ogre he was treated like a king a step up from a lord he thought. To keep his mind from the horrors of the past that haunted him every time he closed his eyes he took up drinking and the warmth of women that the line " It's what the Goddess would want" would work on. he continues roaming the earth diving deeper and deeper into sin and madness always looking for the ogre that took everything.

What type of character do you play? warrior Mage.
What do you like to do? Dungeon running and G2 what else is there?
What is your Mabinogi schedule? Evenings

I've seen you a few times, I know I have.
Dramatic story, even if there were grammar issues. I guess it's a 'we'll see' from me for now.

Have to agree with Bri. Also, paragraphs help to organize your info.

Good luck See you in game.

Afraid to try and read this bock of text.
"begins to translate" where is the punctuation and what is with the run-on sentences?
A bit of a twist on using some of the characters from a Disney film.
Does need to work on editing the story so it actually is readable though.
I cant say yea or nay on this one without a bit more to go on.
There is some enthusiasm here but I also see an unhealthy dose of disorganization.

Maybe a meeting with some of the officers in game will help.

As the others noted, some paragraph breaks would really help the readability. I have to admit I was also a bit put off by "Shreik" and his sidekick. I think feel that the name and the donkey detract from the immersion, even though they add a bit of fun in the same stroke.

Other than that, I like your background. I'm glad that you worked the "Lord" in your name into your background. You have my approval.