My book... Opinions would be loved.

Prologue

The cold metal touch my forehead, which was then followed by a click. I looked up to find a barrel of a pistol held by a man. My hip had blood flowing from it, so I had to squint for him to come into focus. The man was me, I was holding the gun to my own forehead. It must be the blood loss, I thought to myself. But no, I had come all to familiar with this scene. I was holding the gun to my head, my brown hair was held up at the front by gel, and my eyes were closed. The alternate me spoke, “It's good to see you again Emmet.”

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes, hoping for this vision to disappear. When I reopened them, he was still standing there, holding the gun firmly with a smile on his face. He opened his eyes, not revealing my blue eyes, but instead they were eyes as red as fire. I didn't know what to do, I could hear the thugs starting to kick at the door that separated them and I. I looked up to my alter ego, “I wish I could say the same Sean. But no matter how long we're apart, I never seem to have the same feeling.”

Sean let out a maniacal laugh, “I imagine you wouldn't.” His face settled down into a small arrogant smirk, “You remember our deal Brown? The one where you weren't supposed to back down.”

I turned my eyes away from his, the sad part was I did remember the deal. I was supposed to take care of this gang, to make sure they couldn't harm another soul. “I...” I took a deep staggering breath, “I do...”

“What were the terms?”

“To show no fear, or mercy to anyone who stands in my way. To avenge the death of my brother Sean.”

Sean smiled, “Good.”

With that smug smile on his face, the pistol, and himself disappeared into a mist. Reality kicked back in, I could hear the thugs kicking at the door. I let out a sigh of relief, I didn't like my alter ego popping up like that. Those red eyes... The same eyes my brother had. The hinges on the door began to break, as the kicking got louder, and stronger. I heard Sean whisper, “Get up.”

I could see his arm around mine, making my arm move without my permission. I shook it quickly, breaking the control. I then snatched the pistol that was laying on the ground next to me. I closed my eyes, No fear. One of door hinges came undone, No regrets. The door came crashing down, I swiftly stood up. “No mercy!” I took aim with my pistol, and fired off several rounds at the thugs running in. Like flies they dropped to the ground, they may have been great in numbers, but they all turned out to be the same. Pathetic, insignificant bugs when faced with my weapon.

Their bodies fell to the floor; lifeless, blood flowing from their newly formed wounds. I looked over each of them, easing myself when I realized they were all dead. I hit the magazine release button on my gun; it fell to the floor with a click- clack sound. I took a silver cartridge out of my left back pocket. As I loaded it in the gun, I read something I inscribed on the back a week ago, 'No Fear' was poorly etched on the back. I slammed the clip into the gun, cocking a bullet into the chamber. I holstered the pistol into the back of my pants, and searched around the bodies for a spare weapon.

The bodies were littered all of the floor, at least five bodies lay there. That's not counting the many others I left downstairs in the warehouse. Next to a man in what looked like a Tropical t-shirt was a large Uzi. I immediately snatched it, not like he'd be needing it anymore. I checked the clip, not a single shot was fired from it. I checked all of the other corpses, but the only thing I considered was a small shotgun a husky man had. I shrugged my shoulders and moved out the door, as I walked my attention was brought to the bottom floor. Sean appeared in a black mist, a smug smile on his face as his red eyes glared me down. He pointed to the office building in front of me, I replied with a understanding nod, and he disappeared back into the mist. A shiver crept down my spine as I looked to the office room in front of me. From up here, it looked as though it was suspended from the ceiling, but after a quick glance down it there were a few visible pillars.

I approached the door to the room, leaning up against it. “Costello! Your time of death is near!”

“Screw you!” I heard him yell, he had a very strong accent. Sounded as though he came from Brooklyn.

“You can't avoid it Joe! Just give up!” I slid to the side of the door, leaning up against the wall. I didn't need him catching me off guard and spraying the door with bullets. “You'll pay for what you did to my brother!”

I could hear the man laughing inside, “I killed your bro? Damn, my condolences. Truthfully though, I don't give a damn.”

The last comment echoed through my head, He doesn't what? I moved my body around and kicked the door down. I must've startled him, because his .45 went off, the bullet narrowly missed my head. I reacted in a calm manner, aimed my newly obtained Uzi at the man's arm, and painted the walls with the contents of his arm. He let out a cry, but it was a cry to deaf ears, after the comments he told me, I didn't care what happened to him. I dropped the Uzi to the ground, and then pulled my pistol out. I walked up to Joe, who had fallen to his knee's clenching what was left of his arm. I placed the gun to his head I muttered, “No fear.” I cocked the hammer of the gun back, “No regrets.” He looked up at me, a look of sheer terror in his face. I looked at him in the eyes, I was always told to kill a man while looking into his eyes. He began to cry, but it only caused me to smile. “No mercy.” I pulled the trigger, and painted the walls with the contents of Joe's skull. His lifeless body fell before my feet. I unloaded the magazine from the gun, and cocked it back to take the next bullet out of the chamber. I refit the magazine with the bullet, and placed it back in my left back pocket.

I walked out of the office, and Sean was outside waiting for me. A smug smile was painted on his face, as if he killed all of these men. It was a look of accomplishment, something that irritated the hell out of me. “The hell you so smug about?”

Sean laughed, “We did it, even with the flesh wound you received.”

“We did it? The hell we did, I'm the one that did all of the work here.”

Sean just laughed even louder, “Sure you did. But still, if I hadn't gotten you up in that room. I don't think we would be having this conversation.”

I placed my pistol in the back waistline of my pants, “Yeah, well we're not really having this conversation! All you are is a figment of my imagination, something my mind created in order for me to cope with the trauma of losing my brother! Apparently my mind thinks I can't cope with the loss of my own brother."

Sean moved in closer to me, then in a mocking tone he said, “Aww, does someone miss me?”

I swiped at him, but only to have my hand pass through that black mist. He disappeared with that smile still on his face. I held my head low, punching the floor, as if this whole mess was it's fault. “That was a stupid question for him to ask anyway... Why wouldn't I miss my older brother?” My adrenaline started to wear off, I came to this realization when my hip wound started yelling at me.. I clenched it in pain, it wasn't bleeding as bad as before; my body had apparently began to clot. I let out a groan, “One Capo down. One more to go, and then I can face the Don. The Fillipelle's will fall."

It does sound rather interesting, and I'm intrigued to find out what happens next. you'll want to proof-read a little bit, like death for deaf, but otherwise it looks very good.

Ha ha! Yeah I just got done editing it, I wrote this thing on the spot at 7 am. I had been up all night editing a English project, which everyone else in my group slacked off on, so I in turn had to do a lot of the work. But it's been fixed. Thanks, I'm actually rewriting the other chapters, but I'll post the others later.

Starting in the middle, are you, Nilats?

Your mention of "black mist" seems to suggest Emmet may be experiencing more than just his imagination.

Outside of the above plot-side observations, nothing jumps out at me.

He he, that's what I'm trying to put out there. That Sean may be "more" then Emmet thinks of. I'll post more chapters, in this forum when I finish revising them.