Glacia's Notebook

As the end of the day came, Glacia pulled out a mysterious notebook with a blue paw mark on it. Her name had been neatly engraved on the cover, with a snowflake over the "I".

Entry 1?

Well I heard people have been doing things like this lately, so I thought I should do something like it myself. Luckily I had a small notebook of my own, so I can just use this. So, my little notebook. I guess this is a good place to put my thoughts.

So, a recap on what has happened. A huge fight happened at the Kana's Hotel...which involved a few people dying. I am unfortuneate to say I killed someone. His name was Auron....I don't like him much. He is a really skilled ice mage though, but his magic doesn't seem to hurt me much. It might just be because I am an ice elemental myself. So yea, after that, Mariella lent me her Cor Beach House. Jack and Honeko came to visit, but the visit was cut short when some annoying kid named Roza went missing in Solea. We found her, but a giant had kidnapped her. He got away, but Roza is safe now. After that, I worked for Mariella and Hyuponia a bit in their hotel before they got into some big fight involving a kid named Emy. After that, Soifa decided to leave, so I followed her, and now we are living in Iria.

So far Soifa has been real nice to me, despite past issues. She isn't so bad as people think she is. I think it's just because they are mean to her first. She really cares for her sister...who I still need to find again. Her sister, Rozenetta, was my mother for a while. I think those days were my most favorite lived ones. I loved her as a mother, and it was sad when she wasn't able to adopt me. Well, she hasn't told me "no" yet, but her husband hates me...so it's safe to assume here. Maybe Soifa and I will find Roze and be a family of our own.

I met up with Croudo again...past experiences had us on bad terms. But now we are both wanted. I still think he is hiding something. He mentioned not wanting to be near Jack...I think something is fishy. His wife is a upcoming mage, maybe I could teach her a thing or two about magic, being a mage myself. His wife, him, and Krystal all heard me sing...it was embarressing. I never sung in front of people before, unless Soifa heard me sing while I didn't know. They all complimented me...I think I may have blushed...

Anyways, that's all that's really on my mind. I'm still unsure how I came here, or what my purpose in this world is. I hope I can find out. I've been thinking about turning myself in...but Mari said I might get a death sentence...and death would be the end of me... sometimes I feel it would be for the better...maybe I'll have Soifa kill me later...and end my suffering..

-all remnants of the diary were completely burnt to a crisp in the massive explosion-

Glacia sat at the table in Iraselle's rental home, and pulled out her new notebook. So many things had been happening. But she wasn't a part of anything. She wasn't capable of anything in her condition. But when has she ever been of help? People wanted her dead. Glacia began writing in her notebook...as best she could.

I guess this is as best a time to start up this old diary/notebook thing again. Things haven't been going all that great either. I don't even know where to start. I've been following people around lately, mainly Hyuponia and Iraselle. All the entertainment seems to follow them. However, the dragon girl, Iraselle, says I shouldn't walk around, that I need rest sicne I'm in a sickly condition. I'm not sure what's wrong with me, but I'm unable to change back to my human form. It isn't fun, since I can't really do anything in this form. I've tried several times to change back, but end up fainting each time. Am I really in that bad of a condition? I suppose it's safer for me to be like this though, not many people know who I am anymore. If anything, it will help me live longer and avoid the hunters.

It's been several years since I gave up being a Royal Alchemist. For some reason, it didn't really give me the thrill I wanted anymore. Then again, with people wanting me dead, being a Royal Alch isn't the best position to be in when people know you. I haven't really touched my alchemy since then, but I have been experimenting with different crystals. Not recently, of course. I found the Ovens in the Shadow Realm are quite nice.

So I had made a cave system in Physis. The cold weather is nice, and I was close to my Mirror Witch friends again. It was so nice to see them again. For some reason, fomors are nicer than most Milletians I've met. No one has found my cave yet, and I intend to keep it that way. I hope to return to it someday, perhaps when I can change back to a human again.

Some days I wonder how Sia is doing. She has been stuck in that hotel in Blago for a while. They have plenty of food, so I'm not worried about her getting unfed, but I worry about her health. She said she has been in soul stream though, so I guess there isn't much to worry about.

I haven't been really doing anything productive lately. The lady won't let me help with anything, always telling me to go get rest or telling this kid here, Zain, to take me back to the living room. I'd do something, but in my condition I barely have strength to fight. I feel more useless than ever, but maybe they can put my skills to work. I had never gotten sick before until now...maybe the warm weather of Belvast finally got to me. That and my kitty form is less immune to getting sick...

Sighing, Glacia closed the book, and put it back in her bag she had over near the wall. Everyone was out today, except Glacia. She was sleeping when they left. She had been demoted to a rank of pet now, but it's all she could do. Without the energy to change back into human, she was stuck in her cat form. Perhaps she would leave for a bit, maybe go play around. All these ideas seemed nice, but with a final cough, Glacia changed her mind and decided sleep was the best thing right now...and slowly drifted there.

Entry X...:

Glacia quietly sat down near the water's edge in Belvast. So much had happened in so little time. Her heart was so conflicted with emotions. Love, Anger, Sorrow, Pain. Pain....it was the one thing that hurt Glacia the most. She had contemplated suicide countless times....and wished death upon others. Her personality was changing. Even she questioned when she would finally snap.

Well....these past years have been long....and painful. I no longer know what to feel. My robe finally was made. I lost enemies, gained new ones. I don't know which side to be on anymore. I sometimes think the only way to end it all is to reset myself. However, I did that once before and it didn't help in the slightest. I pray whatever Soifa is planning works now, as she is the only person I can really turn to.

Love....I see no more point in it anymore. It feels like it serves no purpose and only causes more harm than help. Part of me does still long for someone, but the majority of me feels empty and betrayed. What is the point in loving someone if they are just going to betray you a few hours later? There simply is no point. Love is for the weak, and I have decided to let my soul guide my path, instead of my heart.

However....this path....purpose, destiny they call it. It just goes in circles. I am a being only capable of destruction. I only get stronger, but for what reason? I seek power...but have nothing to help with it. Nothing to gain. No one to protect. Perhaps I'll have someone to protect eventually. But what purpose does someone like me serve. No one seeks my help, not even in the slightest. I'm only used for purposeless chores. I simply have no purpose in living. I have journeyed to find who I am, and have discovered in fact that I am no one. Just...a no body. A lost cause as they say. A soul without a purpose. Perhaps the world would be better off with me dead.

Perhaps I just have no heart. My soul is just filled with darkness. So be it. I no longer care for lives but my own. And only bring death to all those who oppose me....

Glacia closed her notebook, her feelings written down. She looked out to the ocean again. Belvast was the only place she felt truely at peace.