[Removed]

[Removed]

All right, the top two issues I see are spelling and punctuation. Make sure the the words are spelled correctly, and that there is proper punctuation.

All forms of "god" should not be capitalized, as it is being used in reference to certain characters in the story.

"Formor" should be "former"

Revise the phrasing in some areas to improve the flow.

There are areas where punctuation is missing, so check for run-on sentences. Check other locations for overuse.